The Great Allegheny Case Race Steeple Chase II

I can't recall with any certainty where the original idea was born.  Eric and I had talked about it as an excuse to have a good time.  We did not even know if it was possible for two people to consume a case of Yuengling in a sitting.  It was decided that we would acquire said case of Yuengling and after we finished working our shift at the bar downtown, last 4th of July, we would abscond back to his house and give it a shot. 

"Worst-case-scenario, we have a great time." -EJB

In theory, on paper, it all sounded great.  

Unfortunately, on July 3rd I made a number of bad decisions that ended with me drinking the last of a six pack of malt liquor while two of my other friends emptied their portions of the swill back onto the banks of the Allegheny River around 4am.  Cackling to myself, I called them amateurs until doing exactly the same the next morning. 

This bad decision is the first point of contention between EJB and myself.

I was broken with hangover when I got to work for the 4th.  The prospect of closing the bar with the amount of business we were getting for the holiday bent my soul to the point of danger. Eventually, however, we managed to get out of there and back to his place - stopping only once to burgle some black bean burgers from the freezer at my apartment on the way.

And then it started. It started with Eric's roommate asking if he could buy one of the beers in the case off of us...  It sounded debaucherous and silly when he said it then, but looking back his explanation that we really needed all twenty-four of those beers was fantastic. 

We drank Yuengling by the bottle.  We took turns playing Call of Duty: Black Ops on his little TV, sitting right on the coffee table.  We made a good effort of it.  The sun came up.  We wavered.  Getting close to 6am I had to call it.  

The final tally?  Eric had consumed 11 of his twelve beers.  Me?  A paltry 9 of twelve beers drunk.  Now for the second point of contention - Eric tends to leave a finger or two in the bottoms of his bottles.  Understandably, the last sips are the least appetizing.  Yet when you are Racing Cases and Chasing Steeples, these little amounts matter.  Who can tell how many last swigs went wasted?  One full beer?  One and a half?  We will never know.  Then there is the matter of the spilling of a beer. Half of a beer on the kitchen floor as we sat there drinking.  These two seemingly trivial matters can amount to a lot when you consider the difference in our totals.  It has been a huge point of contention for the last year.

Contention aside - Eric and I agreed that one of the most important requirements of participating in a CRSC is that the person(s) you are doing it with should be ones you would not mind engaging in embittered munchkining for at least a year concerning the accumulation of warm backwash or malt liquor mistakes on the sides of rivers.  

That said - Tuesday night we are going at it again.  We are going at it again and this time we are bringing friends. 

Jay (@crippledvulture), Rob, Eric (@lifeasavirus) and myself, Ryan (@rsreed) are going to hide in the squalored chambers of Starship Kegasus while my lady goes out of town and we are going to try and consume two cases of Yuengling in a night. While doing so we are going to play four player Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 1 or Scott Pilgrim vs The World.

When discussing strategy, Eric is aiming for slow and steady.  "You don't race the clock, you race the man."  He is going to try and hit his pace and hold to it.  Jay on the other hand believes that he has a secret super-power that will enable him to finish first.  "My strategy rests pretty much entirely on my great thirst," says Jay.  "People at work marvel at how much water I consume during a shift.  I just seem to be able to put away vast quantities of liquid..."  Pacing-wise, Jay just wants to set himself up one beer ahead of Eric, ready for the haul.  I am aiming for a three hour case race.  If I can put away a bottle every 15 minutes I think that I will be fine. I am purposely not drinking tonight and I am going to eat early in the day tomorrow so that belly-room and discomfort never become an issue. At the time of publication, Rob could not be reached for what I am sure are obvious reasons.

Rob - Full Time Wrangler, Part Time Blogger. 

So stay tuned to our various channels tomorrow evening around 10:30pm as we will be live updating/tweeting the entire event.  It is sure to get silly. 

www.twitter.com/KegasusSwords

www.twitter.com/crippledvulture

www.twitter.com/lifeasavirus

www.twitter.com/rsreed